(no subject)
Sep. 9th, 2019 02:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Last night was fun! Got up from the couch to walk to the kitchen and felt light-headed. Thought I got up too fast, but the sensation wouldn't go away. I told Chris I felt weird and he told me to sit back down. I did, and it still wouldn't go away. I felt like I was spinning. This, in turn, caused me to panic all the way into a full-blown panic attack. I've never had one before in my life and I legitimately thought I was dying. My heart felt like it was racing (it wasn't), my ENTIRE body felt tingly (like when your leg wakes up from falling asleep), and I kept having these awful sensations of warmth wash over me. I felt confused and I started having chest pain. Legit thought it was a heart attack. Called 911 and even though the paramedics probably arrived in less than 5 minutes, it felt like ETERNITY. They checked my heart rate and rhythm, breathing, blood glucose, etc and everything was perfectly normal. I refused a ride to the hospital so that Chris could take me there with Sloane in tow. Thankfully, his sister was able to meet us at the ER and take Sloane back home to put her to bed.
At the ER, they did full bloodwork, chest x-ray, EKG, and CT scan. Turned up nothing. I worried that it was a drug reaction or interaction given everything that I'm now on, but they didn't seem to think so.
Today, I think it was an exaggerated reaction to a sinus issue (I got a similar sensation after getting up from the massage table today and was just sick last week) but because it weirded me out so much, I had the panic attack, and that's why I thought something more serious was going on.
I'm glad it's probably nothing, and they did give me an Rx for Meclizine in case it happens again, but it was TERRIFYING. I truly thought I was dying. 0/10, do not recommend.
---
Anyway, haven't posted in a while because I was on vacation, then we had a bunch of shit to do when we got back, then Sloane got sick, blah blah blah. Vacation was great - very relaxing and we were gone just long enough that I was happy to come back home. I was able to pick up a bunch of childhood stuff from my grandfather's house, including all the Playbills from shows I saw in NY with my grandmother (as well as Playbills from shows she saw before I was born - like motherfucking Chita Rivera and Gwen Verdon in the original run of Chicago!!) Was in my cousin's wedding which wasn't a disaster, like we all thought it would be. Did a bunch of historical sites with Chris (Museum of Historic Vehicles, Valley Forge, Daniel Boone's homestead), and ate ALL THE THINGS. It was great.
Now we're back into routine and I've been feeling really good mentally/emotionally. I feel like, after 20 years, therapy is somehow FINALLY clicking?? Like instead of just feeling good about therapy while I'm in a session, I'm actually taking the tools with me and implementing them in my actual life?? What is this sorcery??? I also started Amitriptyline because my gastroenterologist thought it might help with the gut-brain component of my stomach issues... it's not really, BUT it has improved my focus immensely?? It's also used at higher doses for ADHD, so now I'm wondering if I actually have ADHD and didn't realize it. Because, holy shit, I am GETTING. SHIT. DONE. Projects that have been in the back of my mind for a decade (like organizing a lifetime's worth of photos) are suddenly getting started and finished within a couple days' time. This is, like, unfathomable??
At the ER, they did full bloodwork, chest x-ray, EKG, and CT scan. Turned up nothing. I worried that it was a drug reaction or interaction given everything that I'm now on, but they didn't seem to think so.
Today, I think it was an exaggerated reaction to a sinus issue (I got a similar sensation after getting up from the massage table today and was just sick last week) but because it weirded me out so much, I had the panic attack, and that's why I thought something more serious was going on.
I'm glad it's probably nothing, and they did give me an Rx for Meclizine in case it happens again, but it was TERRIFYING. I truly thought I was dying. 0/10, do not recommend.
---
Anyway, haven't posted in a while because I was on vacation, then we had a bunch of shit to do when we got back, then Sloane got sick, blah blah blah. Vacation was great - very relaxing and we were gone just long enough that I was happy to come back home. I was able to pick up a bunch of childhood stuff from my grandfather's house, including all the Playbills from shows I saw in NY with my grandmother (as well as Playbills from shows she saw before I was born - like motherfucking Chita Rivera and Gwen Verdon in the original run of Chicago!!) Was in my cousin's wedding which wasn't a disaster, like we all thought it would be. Did a bunch of historical sites with Chris (Museum of Historic Vehicles, Valley Forge, Daniel Boone's homestead), and ate ALL THE THINGS. It was great.
Now we're back into routine and I've been feeling really good mentally/emotionally. I feel like, after 20 years, therapy is somehow FINALLY clicking?? Like instead of just feeling good about therapy while I'm in a session, I'm actually taking the tools with me and implementing them in my actual life?? What is this sorcery??? I also started Amitriptyline because my gastroenterologist thought it might help with the gut-brain component of my stomach issues... it's not really, BUT it has improved my focus immensely?? It's also used at higher doses for ADHD, so now I'm wondering if I actually have ADHD and didn't realize it. Because, holy shit, I am GETTING. SHIT. DONE. Projects that have been in the back of my mind for a decade (like organizing a lifetime's worth of photos) are suddenly getting started and finished within a couple days' time. This is, like, unfathomable??
Trying to enjoy my newfound mental state and not walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop, but let's be real... I'm still me lol